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Ayshan Tavakkul qizi Salahova
Senior lecturer
Baku Girls University
Department of psychology
Azerbaijan, Baku
ORCID: 0009-0003-1122-0869
https://10.5281/zenodo.17499570
Abstract
This article explores the dynamics between the “virtual self” and the “real self,” focusing on the role of social platforms in shaping personality development in the modern era. Digital platforms play a crucial role in allowing individuals to construct their “ideal self,” redesign their identities, and strengthen their sense of self-worth and self-esteem. Through these processes, individuals gain social approval, which further enhances their self-esteem. However, these dynamics often do not align with one’s real personality. Instead, they merely suppress internal censorship, feelings of low self-esteem, social comparison, chronic tension and anxiety, identity fragmentation, and other deeply rooted psychological experiences. Drawing upon the theoretical perspectives of Goffman, Higgins, and Walther, this paper analyzes the concept of the “virtual self” from a psychological standpoint and supports the discussion with real-life examples. Empirical research is presented to examine how personality formation and social relationships are influenced by these dynamics. The findings suggest that the “virtual self” should not be seen merely as a technological phenomenon, but rather as a psychosocial process that leaves a profound mark on the self-perception system and the dynamics of personality development. The article highlights both theoretical foundations and real-life applications, as well as potential new perspectives arising from the psychological impact of virtual self-construction.
Keywords: virtual self, real self, social media psychology, identity, self-perception, social comparison, psychological effects, digital identity
Introduction
One of the most significant factors driving the fundamental transformation of the “self” concept is the rapid development of technology and social platforms in the 21st century, along with their limitless intrusion into all spheres of life. Traditional psychological theories explained the development of the “self” in terms of self-awareness, self-evaluation, and an individual’s position within the social environment. However, the 21st century has introduced a new dimension to the concept of “self,” leading to the emergence of the notion of the “virtual self.” Merely studying individuals within their social contexts is now insufficient. The images people create and present on social platforms differ significantly from their “real self.” These constructed identities and carefully designed personas often diverge fundamentally from their authentic personalities.
But what does the term “virtual self” actually mean? The “virtual self” refers to the customized identity formed on social media, online platforms, and digital environments. In fact, the “virtual self” is closely aligned with the “ideal self” — the version of oneself that one aspires to be or wishes others to perceive. Then, who is the “real self”? The “real self” encompasses the traits, behaviors, and psychological states we exhibit in everyday life. As the gap between these two selves widens, internal balance and harmony are disrupted, leading to psychological distress [Higgins, 1987].
Social media serves as one of the main catalysts for this contradiction. According to Goffman’s theory of self-presentation, individuals perform certain “roles” before an audience and behave according to social expectations [Goffman, 1959]. This idea becomes even more relevant in the context of social media, where individuals present themselves in selective and edited forms through photos, status updates, bios, and posts. Walther’s “hyperpersonal model” further demonstrates that people are able to present more controlled and idealized versions of themselves online than they can in face-to-face interactions [Walther, 1996].
Consequently, contemporary identity is no longer solely the product of social and biological processes — it is also a technological and cultural construction. The relationship between the “virtual self” and the “real self” creates new opportunities for self-expression and personality development on one hand, but on the other hand, it intensifies problems such as low self-esteem, social comparison, and psychological dissonance [Vogel et al., 2014].
The purpose of this article is to analyze the concepts of “virtual self” and “real self,” examine empirical studies conducted in this field, explore relevant psychological theories, and evaluate the individual and social effects of these phenomena. Furthermore, it aims to propose intervention strategies that can be applied in real-life contexts.
Main part. The concept of the “virtual self” is closely linked to theories of identity, self-perception, self-presentation, and social influence. What opportunities does social media provide for individuals? First and foremost, social platforms offer people a wide range of possibilities to present themselves in a carefully edited and selectively constructed way. According to Goffman’s theory of self-presentation, individuals perform roles in social situations that align with audience expectations [Goffman, 1959]. Social media intensifies this process, as it enables individuals to select the design they want, remove unwanted elements, and construct a version of themselves that most closely resembles their “ideal self.”
Higgins’ self-discrepancy theory explains that inconsistencies between one’s actual, ideal, and ought selves lead to psychological consequences [Higgins, 1987]. Social media can either reduce this discrepancy — for instance, by allowing individuals to create an image that aligns more closely with their ideal self — or exacerbate it through upward social comparison, which may lead them to view themselves as inferior. Walther’s hyperpersonal model further demonstrates that online communication enables individuals to present themselves in more controlled and positive ways [Walther, 1996]. As a result, the “virtual self” often manifests as an idealized version of the “real self.”
In conclusion, the “virtual self” can be considered a psychological strategy — one that fulfills essential social needs such as self-validation, acceptance, and social approval. At first glance, this strategy may appear beneficial for personal development; however, when the process becomes ongoing and habitual, it can undermine the “real self,” causing internal imbalance and a significant decrease in self-worth. These internal contradictions ultimately hinder personality development.
As previously mentioned, if the “virtual self” satisfies social needs (such as self-validation, acceptance, and social approval), then it cannot be viewed merely as a product of technological processes. Instead, it must also be understood as a phenomenon rooted in deep psychological mechanisms.
According to Erving Goffman’s classical theory of self-presentation, people are like “actors” in social life — they present themselves before an audience, perform social roles, and try to manage the impressions they create in the eyes of others [Goffman, 1959]. While this process is largely uncontrolled in traditional settings, it operates quite differently in the context of social media. Here, individuals select all the materials necessary for their self-presentation, make edits, reshape their statuses and bios, and mask the aspects of themselves they wish to conceal. The advantage of this process is that it allows individuals to approach their “ideal self,” as they present the “most perfect version” of themselves to their online audience. Achievements, successes, and impressive moments are highlighted, while flaws and weaknesses are pushed into the background. Furthermore, individuals can choose their own audience and often anticipate whose interest they will capture and how many likes or approvals they will receive. All these dynamics reveal that the “virtual self” is essentially an identity project.
One of the most significant factors contributing to the formation of the “virtual self” is the need for social validation. In human psychology, the need for social acceptance and belonging is among the most fundamental emotional needs [Baumeister & Leary, 1995]. Research shows that posts receiving likes and social approval on social media activate the brain’s dopamine system and trigger mechanisms associated with addiction [Meshi et al., 2013]. In pursuit of the pleasurable dopamine response, individuals make new posts, seek attention, and gradually become dependent on their “virtual self,” which increasingly relies on external validation.
The creation of the “virtual self” does not occur solely on an individual level. On social media, various audiences — friends, family, colleagues, teachers, and others — coexist within the same space. According to Marwick and boyd’s (2011) concept of “context collapse,” this situation makes it more difficult for individuals to manage their different social roles simultaneously [Marwick & boyd, 2011].
Social media not only enables individuals to present themselves but also provides a rich environment for comparing themselves with others. According to Festinger’s social comparison theory, individuals evaluate their identity and values by comparing themselves to others [Festinger, 1954]. In a study by Gonzales and Hancock (2011), participants who viewed their own Facebook profiles experienced a short-term boost in self-esteem — a result of seeing themselves presented in an idealized way [Gonzales & Hancock, 2011]. However, Vogel et al. (2014) demonstrated that individuals who spend more time on social media tend to have lower self-esteem, as they constantly compare themselves to the selectively curated and embellished lives of others [Vogel et al., 2014].
Social comparison is one of the most fundamental mechanisms of human psychology. Leon Festinger’s theory (1954) posits that individuals are naturally inclined to compare their abilities, values, and status with those of others [Festinger, 1954]. There are two main types of comparison: upward comparison and downward comparison.
In upward comparison, individuals compare themselves to those who are more successful, attractive, or happier, leading to lower self-worth and the development of negative self-perceptions. In downward comparison, individuals compare themselves to those in worse conditions, which allows them to feel better about themselves and satisfy their need for self-validation.
Numerous studies have confirmed the psychological consequences of social comparison on social media. For example, Vogel and colleagues (2014) found that participants who spent more time on social media exhibited lower levels of self-esteem, with upward comparison identified as the primary factor behind this effect [Vogel et al., 2014]. Fardouly et al. (2015) demonstrated that viewing photos and images on social media leads to body image dissatisfaction and reduced self-confidence, particularly among women [Fardouly et al., 2015]. In another notable experiment, Gonzales and Hancock (2011) instructed one group of participants to view their Facebook profiles while another group spent time on neutral websites. Results showed that those who viewed their profiles experienced a temporary increase in self-esteem [Gonzales & Hancock, 2011].
Long-term engagement in social comparison can also lead to structural changes in self-perception. Individuals may disregard their real potential and lived experiences, instead evaluating themselves based on idealized standards. This process leads to psychological imbalance and makes self-worth increasingly dependent on external validation. As a result, concepts such as “good” and “bad” become externally defined, disrupting inner harmony. In some cases, individuals develop chronic self-criticism and perfectionism, setting unrealistic standards for themselves and experiencing feelings of failure. In others, they may engage in social masking, rejecting their real selves and striving to present only an “ideal image.” Walther’s hyperpersonal model explains this phenomenon: interactions on social media are often idealized, and individuals adapt their personalities to fit these idealized expectations [Walther, 1996].
The impact of social comparison is particularly strong among adolescents and young adults. Adolescence is the most sensitive period for identity exploration and self-esteem development. According to research by Manago and colleagues (2012), social media serves as a space where adolescents “experiment with their identity,” but it also leads them to become more self-critical [Manago et al., 2012]. Social media not only minimizes the sense of self-worth but also negatively affects motivation. For example, when a young person sees the successes of their peers, they may feel inadequate and believe they are failing, which in turn damages their motivation and self-confidence. As a result, this dynamic can contribute to social anxiety and unstable interpersonal relationships.
It is important to note that social comparison affects not only one’s self-perception but also interpersonal relationships. Studies show that observing “perfect” relationships on social media can lead to dissatisfaction and unrealistic expectations in one’s own romantic relationships [Fox & Moreland, 2015].
Analyzing and evaluating the concept of the “virtual self” reveals both its positive and negative aspects.
a) Social media offers individuals unique opportunities to express their identities, share their values, and openly display their interests. People can express their “real self” more freely and rediscover themselves. This process is especially important for adolescents and young adults, as identity exploration and personality formation represent key psychological tasks during this stage of life [Michikyan et al., 2014]. For example, a young person may join online communities aligned with their interests, experiment with different aspects of their identity, and discover in which social roles they feel most comfortable. This process enables Erikson’s “identity exploration” stage to unfold in a richer and safer environment [Erikson, 1968].
b) Social media also serves as an important tool for emotional support and a sense of belonging. People can connect with communities that share similar experiences, helping them feel less isolated. This is particularly valuable for individuals who have undergone traumatic experiences, face psychological difficulties, or belong to marginalized groups [Manago et al., 2012]. Some studies have shown that active and purposeful engagement on social media — such as participating in discussions or joining group activities — is associated with a reduction in depressive symptoms and an increase in social well-being [Verduyn et al., 2015].
c) However, the presentation of “ideal self” images on social media can create a sense among individuals that their real lives are worthless. This leads to a decrease in self-esteem and fosters the belief that “I am not good enough” [Vogel et al., 2014].
ç) When the gap between the “virtual self” and the “real self” becomes too large, these two identities come into conflict, and individuals struggle to determine who they truly are. This phenomenon, known as “identity fragmentation,” can have long-term negative effects on the internal stability of personality [Higgins, 1987].
d) Excessive emphasis on likes, followers’ opinions, and post statistics can activate psychological dependency mechanisms. Studies show that social indicators such as likes and approval trigger the brain’s dopamine system, producing effects similar to those seen in reward-related addiction mechanisms [Meshi et al., 2013]. Individuals begin to evaluate their worth based not on internal qualities but on external validation. As a result, when social media feedback does not meet their expectations, they may feel worthless and experience anxiety, disappointment, or anger. Among adolescents and young people, these effects can have even more serious consequences, such as depressive symptoms and delays in self-perception development.
e) The “ideal life” standards presented on social media create unrealistic expectations. This leads to perfectionistic behavior, relentless self-criticism, and chronic dissatisfaction [Fardouly et al., 2015]. Even when individuals work hard, they may feel they can never reach the level of “perfection” they see online, which weakens their sense of self-worth.
ə) Low self-esteem and anxiety: Continuous comparison and the feeling of not reaching the “ideal self” can lead to decreased self-worth, body image concerns, and heightened anxiety [Fardouly et al., 2015].
e) Addiction and the need for social validation: Dependence on the number of likes and shares ties self-worth to external factors, reducing emotional resilience [Andreassen et al., 2017].
Ultimately, the “virtual self” can be described as a double-edged phenomenon: it can be beneficial for self-expression and social support, but it also increases the risks of identity fragmentation, low self-esteem, addiction, and unstable relationships. All these findings indicate that the “virtual self” should not be regarded solely as a technological event or a social behavior. It must be understood as a concept directly linked to the integrity of personality and the foundation of psychological well-being.
It is not sufficient to approach the concepts of “virtual self” and “real self” solely from a psychological perspective. The implementation of social interventions and personal development programs is highly recommended. For this reason, it is essential for not only psychologists but also educators and social workers to understand this phenomenon correctly. The concept of the “virtual self” is not confined to theory; it manifests itself in real life — in decision-making processes, interpersonal relationships, and everyday interactions. But what types of intervention strategies can be implemented?
1.Awareness-raising – promoting accurate self-evaluation
2.Self-perception therapy – enhancing awareness of self-concept and personal identity
3.Digital detox and balanced usage – conscious regulation of social media engagement
4.Youth-oriented interventions and education – targeting adolescents and young adults to strengthen self-concept
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and Schema Therapy are considered among the most effective therapeutic approaches for addressing issues related to the virtual self.
The concept of “digital detox” has gained increasing attention over time and is now among the key terms psychologists focus on to protect psychological well-being. It refers to the conscious and balanced use of social media.
- Time limitation: Restricting daily social media use to 30–60 minutes can lead to significant improvements in self-esteem and emotional well-being [Hunt et al., 2018].
- Purposeful use: Intentional use of social media is necessary to reduce meaningless comparisons and the risk of dependency.
- Return to reality: Offline activities — such as physical exercise, reading, and participation in social events — help balance the influence of the “virtual self.”
In the field of education, several strategic directions can be implemented. For example:
- Media literacy education can be introduced as an initial step.
- Empathy and emotional skills development can be included to help individuals better navigate social interactions.
- Digital identity education can teach how identity formation occurs on social media and how to protect oneself from potential negative effects.
Conclusion
The research demonstrates that the concept of the “virtual self” is a highly complex and dual-faceted phenomenon. The “virtual self” simultaneously fosters personal development in terms of social support, identity formation, and self-expression, while also introducing significant psychological risks such as identity fragmentation and diminished self-esteem. Individuals often construct their sense of self-worth and identity not based on their own experiences but rather on external feedback — such as comments, reactions, and follower engagement. This dynamic complicates the process of self-perception.
From a scientific standpoint, the study shows that defining the concept of “self” solely based on internal psychological structures is incomplete. Theoretical frameworks such as Goffman’s theory of self-presentation, Higgins’ self-discrepancy theory, and Walther’s hyperpersonal communication theory provide a foundation for understanding this phenomenon. Furthermore, the social comparison theory must also be evaluated from a broad perspective to fully grasp its implications.
The findings of this study hold significant practical relevance for the field of psychology. In psychological interventions and psychotherapy, special attention should be given to the concept of the “virtual self.” Clinicians should carefully assess the ways in which clients present themselves online and identify discrepancies between their virtual and real identities. Based on this understanding, professionals should implement targeted strategies — including reality testing, reducing the impact of social comparison, identity formation grounded in core values, and digital literacy training.
The “virtual self” and “real self” phenomena remain relatively underexplored areas within psychology. In the modern era, the “virtual self” has become an inseparable part of human identity. While it brings individuals closer to their ideal selves, it simultaneously distances them from their real identities. This dissonance disrupts inner harmony — and the central goal of psychology is precisely to restore that harmony. The imbalance between these two phenomena threatens the wholeness and stability of the self. When balance is restored, individuals can experience a sense of stability and self-worth — which are among the most crucial indicators of psychological well-being.
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